Cooking Adventures

My friend Tracey and I frequently cook -- teaching each other recipes from our homelands. Here she is (with her assistant Stone) teaching me how to cook qiezi & yu (eggplant with dried fish):



. . .
And here we have huanggua chao jidan (Cucumber & Eggs):

"PAGE LOAD ERROR -- NETWORK TIMEOUT"

"PAGE LOAD ERROR -- NETWORK TIMEOUT"
Usually these words are associated with a bad internet connection or momentary glitch...but when you're in China, you know better.
. . .
Twice in the past 2 weeks YouTube has been blocked. The first was for videos that depicted a Ti bet an being beaten by Chinese military. The second time...well, we're not quite sure...perhaps there still working on the situation.
. . .
On March 30th the "State Administration of Radio, Film, and TV" released a notice of the new requirements for internet videos and audio. Click on this post's title for the article.
. . .
Here are a few fun excerpts:

There shall be no "excessively frightening images, text, background music, or sound effects". Terrified by sound affects? Serious?! I mean, I've jumped when BAM! something happens in a movie, but I'm not sure that I've ever heard a...uh, "excessively frightening sound effect". Sometimes I just don't know. That's when I just shake my head and sigh -- "China".

Also, in association with religious audio-visual, "hurting the feelings of the public" is prohibited. I guess Christianity doesn't qualify under these regulations. We know that Christ was offensive -- people murdered Him because they didn't like the message He brought. But Christ's goal wasn't to spread a popular message. It was to spread the Truth.
. . .
We'll see what happens.
At least China will be achieving its dream of a "harmonious society". (I hate that phrase.)

HAIKU!

This past week I had my classes write haikus -- syllables are challenging for them. I was curious to introduce this poetry form since it's a Japanese style of poetry and most Chinese (99.9%) hate the Japanese, but it went quite well. Here are a few:
. . .
Tunnel through the time
See a candle in the wind
Direct us go ahead
. . .
After a sudden meet
You will change my life, I thought
Can you leave your heart
. . .
A beautiful night
Girl dancing and boy singing
They are fall in love
. . .
I have many dreams
If I were a bird in sky
I can fly freely
. . .
Food is delicious
Meat, milk, and vegetable
I love food so much
. . .
It's an animal
We think it's lazy and fat
We all call them pigs
. . .
The girl is charmful
Long hair, slim and wonderful
You must be careful
. . .
Bird can fly anywhere
Blue bird I really want to be
Freedom is my dream
. . .
Chinese girl is good
Piano, chess writing, and drawing
Let's marry with them
. . .
Friendship is glorious
Linked by ties of fate, unselfish
Let's treasure it now
. . .
What is a Haiku?
It is "H-A-I-K-U"
I don't really know
. . .
China I love you
China do you love me too?
My love is hot to you
. . .
We play Warcraft games
Mountain King and Super Fort
God like if choose them

The Pressure of Chinese Education

I live in an apartment building with 7 other teachers and our fu wu yuan (housekeeper/cleaning lady/landlady/etc.) and her family. The family consists of the mom, dad, a 14 year old girl, and a newly adopted, yippy puppy named duo duo who goes back and forth between nuzzling up against us and biting our ankles. The daughter is a good student and her English is improving very quickly. I'm always surprised at her schedule: she leaves before I do each morning (prior to 7:30am) and returns home nearly 14 1/2 hours later at 10pm. This is her normal routine Monday through Friday, and on Saturday she has an English tutor come for a few hours before she starts her homework.
. . .
And this is the normal schedule of any student. High school, a time that seems (relatively) very carefree in American education, is the most stressful time of a Chinese student. They have no social life and are constantly studying for the dreaded gao kao -- the exam that determines whether a student goes to college or not. When a student passes the gao kao, universities then select the student, and the student may choose which one of those universities he or she would like to go to.
. . .
Once at college, everything changes. For the first time, students have the freedom and time to participate in social activities and they can relax a bit in their studies. It's interesting to watch my students, because, at times, them seem like high schoolers. But then I realize that they are just being introduced to what we call a "social life".
. . .
To further illustrate this point, I wanted to share something one of my students wrote:
. . .
"Nobody can deny the function of education. Education is the only way of saving a nation. But if it is carried out in a blind and narrow way, it’s negative effect can be destructive.
“What goal should edu achieve? Should it be the onlytool of getting a good job, living a decent life, or entering upper class? Should it’s objective focus on skills of earning a living?
“In my opinion, it’s definitely not! So what should be the ultimate aim of education? I think it’s first goal should be carrying forward and cultivating the free spirit, teaching next generation how to think and seek happiness of life, how to know about the world. China does emphasize the value of education, so parents push their children to study desperately at school. In China, middle school students have to stay in the classroom from 7am (even more early, say, 5am) to 7 pm (even later, say, 9:30pm). It is the truth. Students bury their heads into teaching materials – books and exercises. No activities. What’s worse is a large size of class, students’ voice couldn’t be heard in most of classes. Teachers control the class and is the only speaker all the time. Gradually, students care nothing, because nobody cares them. Even if they yell, who cares?
"Please free our students from being controlled both physically and mentally! Our nation needs real national spirit and strength. Let education be the hope of China. We need to think and step forward.”
. . .

This week...

Food poisoning sucks!
. . .
Back in a few days.

In the Studio

The vacation recap will continue with the coming blogs, but now a story from this week:
. . .
For the past few months I've had a side job at the recording studio on campus. I come in a few times a week and read for English textbooks -- simple sentences, dialogues, monologues, speeches, stories...whatever they have. Usually I read with another American. Last semester it was Kyle from Alaska; this semester it's Kyle from Minnesota. We usually have a pretty good time -- there's always some good chinglish to keep us laughing.
. . .
W: Andy, I will have an important exam tomorrow. Can you give me some advice? M: Sure. Are you feeling a bit nervous?
W: Yes, I feel stressed.
M: Perhaps you should try this white t-shirt. And white can make you feel calm.
W: OK. What do you think of my blue jeans?
M: It's a good idea to wear blue jeans because blue and white are a good match.
W: Anything else?
M: You'd better take your yellow stationary. You know, yellow represents wisdom.
W: Yes. That's right. Thanks.
. . .
But this week is different. This week Kyle and I work separately and there are no simple sentences, no dialogues, no monologues, no speeches, and no stories. This week we are reading from the dictionary. Just word after word -- each one 3 times over: slow, slower, normal. I've never had to takes so many yawning breaks before. And ya know how people joke about things being "as boring as reading the dictionary"... Well, I disagree. Nothing is that boring.
. . .
And it's even worse at 9:30 a.m. About every 20 minutes we "save file" and that gives me a chance to wake up. During one of the breaks I found a soccer ball in the studio and started kicking it around. I was like a puppy that had been penned up for the whole day. The guy who overseas the recording and makes sure we say the right thing came in and asked me if I could be "a little more excited". You're joking, right? We both laughed. But he was being serious. And so now I have to read the words as if I'm seeing them for the first time.
. . .
"ABILITY"! Oh, and "SCHEDULE"! And "CHARACTER"! What a marvelous thing that one could comprise mere letters and conjure up such entertaining sounds!
. . .
This is my life for 2 hours a day. But it's amazing how we still manage to have a good time. The yawning and my Seattle accent keep us on our toes. Sometimes I am requested to say words in a British accent (ex. schedule) because that is the phonetic spelling given in this dictionary, and we all get a kick out of this. So it's back to the studio tomorrow -- on to the C's, D's, and E's.

Jail Cells for Cheap: Guangzhou Pt. 3

The guys left Guangzhou for Hainan; I still had 2 days until my flight to Dhaka. Their last day consisted of meals with friends and finding a wang ba (internet cafe) to print off flight information. China is littered with wang ba's so finding one wouldn't be too difficult -- we use them all the time when we're traveling or our internet goes out. They're just big open rooms with rows and rows of PCs and comfy chairs -- mostly filled with gamers and college students who are so glued to the monitor that a natural disaster couldn't stir them. It's the quitest place you'll find in China.
. . .
Later we had lunch with 3 chinese friends -- 2 girls and a guy, Frank. The meal was phenemonenal! There was a live seafood market below the restaurant where we picked out the fish, shrimp, and scallops we wanted to eat. The staff would fish them out of their tanks and take them straight to the kitchen where the chef would prepare them as we requested.

After the meal, we asked our friends where we could find the nearest net bar...the girls' response was: "Wang ba? maybe it's not safe." ("maybe" always means "definitely") Drew, Keegan, and I just looked at each other. We turned to Frank. "Yeah, there's one by my hotel."
. . .
There turned out to be open rooms at his hotel. "It's not nice, but it's really cheap." That sounded fine to me. Little did I know that I was about to be charged 40 yuan a night ($5.70) to sleep in a converted jail cell. The door was metal and looked like something out of the 1940's. When you turned the key in the lock a little square door opened and your hand shot through. To actually unlock the door you had to lift up the metal bar on the inside of the door and slide it across. The bars on the windows were the added touch. Welcome to jail.
. . .
My bathroom was furnished with a water heater and a bucket. I was a little leary of the water heater since I could distinguish the flames heating the water. It will not explode. It will not explode. It will not explode. There was also the shower head which was conveniently positioned over the squatter (also my sink drain). It was never exactly appetizing to spit my toothpaste into the squatter -- always felt like I needed to brush them again.
. . .
The last full day I was in Guangzhou I was treated to a tour of the city by a few of my friends: Ken, Clark, and Moon. We saw the Sun Yat Sen Memorial Park and the famous Beijing Lu (Beijing Street) where you could see the layers of buried roads that had been used during the ancient dynasties.

They also showed my around their campus -- the Guangzhou School of Business. "This is the only field...this is the only gym...this is the only library...this is the only park...everything here is 'only'." It looked quite big to me, but, then again, Guangzhou has a "university city" which is a city comprised of 10 or so university campuses, complete with restaurants and malls and post offices and anything anyone would ever need.
. . .
I went back to my jail cell that night and flipped through the ear-piercing, terrible acting Chinese TV shows but I didn't even notice them, because in less than 12 hours I would on a plane out of this country -- the first time since I arrived in August.

Closest to China's Heart are Squatters & Communism: Guangzhou Pt. 2

The sun was blinding as we stepped out of the subway. It was as if we hadn't seen it for months (which is closer to the truth than not). There we stood in the middle of the sidewalk -- frozen as we stared at something so rare and beautiful: clear blue sky. We walked the entire city (my knee giving out long before Keegan and Drew grew tired). We eventually made our way back to the subeay and headed to "Xia Jiao Station" -- we would meet a friend there later that night for KTV (karaoke). By this point we were starving. As we made our way for the exit, we all agreed "we could go for some McDonald's". That was our plan... But as we ascended the steps, all we could see was clear blue sky. We didn't want sky, we want skyscrapers...and one of them to have a McDonald's. But there we stood on the landing with growling stomachs and an expanse of farmland in front of us. "Where ARE we?!" It was as if we popped up in the middle of the countryside. The tallest builiding was maybe 6 stories. But we did end up finding a restaurant with some of the best eggs and tomatoes we've ever eaten.
. . .
I spent the next day on my own at Starbucks. I love coffee shops -- some of my favorite places in Seattle are coffee shops. (Caffe Ladro, Chocolati, Top Pot...I'll see you in July.) But what I loved about this one was the footprints on the western toilet. The preference to squatters still stands firm in China.
[For more info on squatters: http://www.banterist.com/archivefiles/000348.html ]
. . .
Huo Guo (Hot Pot) dinner with some Chinese friends who Keegan knew. We spent 4 hours at dinner (which only felt like 1). I had an interesting conversation with one of my new friends. He and I both have degrees in business, so we started there, and from there, as all conversations do, it morphed into a variety of topics...religion being a main one. When I asked him of his faith, he replied that he belived in something but didn't know exactly what he believed. He said he went to church "for peace". He continued to explain to me the decline of religion within China; that it's mostly the oldest generation that holds firmest (if at all) to faith. "Communism is the religion of China," he said. So it is.

"Look! Foreigners": Guangzhou Pt.1

Guangzhou was my 1st destination. I traveled there with 2 other teachers, and none of us could wait to reach warmer weather. But, wouldn't ya know it, we were stuck in the Chongqing airport for a few extra hours due to "fright delays".
. . .
Realizing that the idea of a taxi from the subway station to our hotel at 11 at night was far superior to the idea of meandering around in the dark for a few hours in hunt of our lodging, we hailed the next cab. Yeah, we would have never found it. The cab weaved down and back the freeway on-ramps and through a part of town which looked strikingly similar to the road beneath the Viaduct around Pioneer Square and Safeco Field. Chain link fences, railroad tracks, and just some sketchy alleys. But things are never as they seem in China. Safe? Sure. But it sure doesn't feel like it.
. . .
From the taxi we saw 5 black guys walking down the alley. "Look! Waiguoren!" (We always get a little excited when we see foreigners.) One of them was dressed in full Arabic garb. "Cool." They were staying at our hotel which conveniently had an Arabic restaurant.
. . .
Room 702.
We stood in the elevator looking at the buttons for awhile.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...where's 7? there's no 7. how can there be no 7?!"
By way of the elevator there's no 7, so we went to the 6th floor -- logical. Coming out of the elevator and turning the corner we saw a stairwell with old chairs stacked on one side. It looked like the staircase to the attic where they put the undesirables.
We were in 702. Quasimodo was in 701.
. . .
Needing a little fresh air and, perhaps, a late night snack, we ventured out.
"Hey look! There's a shop with Arab clothing." "Yeah, and there's another Arabic restaurant...and another...and another...and there's more black people...a lot of them...WHERE ARE WE?!" We would find out the next day from some local friends that our hotel was situated in "Little Africa" -- the Muslim quarter of Guangzhou. Mostly black people, a few Chinese, 2 white guys and a pale girl. Out of all the minorities, we were the minority of the minorities.
. . .
Click on this post's title for pics!

A Chinese Wedding

"Wait, was that the ceremony?" This was my response to the Chinese wedding I attended at the beginning of January. It seemed like more of a variety show than a actual wedding. Allow me to explain...
. . .
About 2 months ago I was asked to be in a Chinese wedding by a friend of the happy couple. "Really? Why?" were the only words I could find at that moment. Yes, I know that sounds a bit rude and ungrateful, but hear me out. In China, being an American -- white face, brown hair, blue eyes -- means being a bit of a celebrity. The myriad of photos taken (even during my class by my students), the constant yells of "hello!" as I pass by followed by the giggles of both gals AND guys, the stupid requests to perform at competitions we've only been invited to watch, being taken places so that people can be seen with us...it's ridiculous and confusing. So often it's just: "TIAOWU HOUZI TIAOWU" (dance monkey dance). Now you might understand my reaction when, not even knowing the bride or the groom but only the daughter of the groom's father's friends, I was asked to be the maid of honor. The MAID OF HONOR! I've never even seen these people before! But, as the American girl and in hopes of another China adventure, I tiaowu-ed.
. . .
I packed my overnight bag with 5 different outfits, not knowing what to wear as the maid of honor in a Chinese wedding. It was only when we arrived at a location a few hours away that I was informed that my services were no longer needed. (Typical of Chinese agreements to "save face" and not expose the breaking of an agreement until the absolute last moment when it seems like an unavoidable, unforeseen crisis [which it isn't] and then you are stuck with whatever they had intended.) It turns out, most people...actually, all except the bride and groom...wear jeans and sweaters to the wedding. It's incredible casual. I felt so under dressed but I was the same as everyone else. It even looked like one kid was wearing pajamas.
. . .
We sat in the banquet room of the hotel waiting for the couple to arrive. (Since there are no churches as we have in America, couples typically get married in hotels.) There must have been 20 or 30 tables set up for all the guests. We, the token Americans, sat with the extended family. My fellow monkeys didn't get enough sleep the night before which was evident by the way they held their heads in their hands in an attempt to comfort their throbbing heads from the blaring high-pitched Chinese music. I just laughed and took pictures.
. . .
Fog machines, colorful stage lights, Enya...typical Chinese wedding pre-game festivities.
...I think.
. . .
Photos of the couple were set up all around the hotel, including a WAY larger-than-life poster at the entrance of the hotel. This gigantic picture spanned 20 feet and went from the floor to the elevated ceiling. As we were told, the wedding photos are very important with a lot of time and money going toward them. The couple was photographed by lakes and rivers and fields and forests and parks and houses and everywhere. We were amazing at the amount and variety of pictures.
. . .
The bride and groom appeared once they had finished greeting all the guests. Pandemonium erupted as they walked into the room. They walked together down the elevated, colorfully illuminated aisle-- all I could think was "Project Runway". There was music and cheering and stage lights. It was as if the ceremony was the reception. The party had already started.
. . .
I couldn't hear most of the ceremony but that's okay because it was mostly in Chinese. It all looked very Western: the exchange of vows, the music, the kiss. But there was no designated officiant (or maybe I was just too short to see above the Asian people). It seemed as though they were marrying themselves or that there were a few emcees to provide a little structure to the ceremony. I'm still unclear on all that happened. I don't even know what to call it since the couple was already married and had been for several months. This was an additional ceremony for the friends and extended family. The funny thing was that a good percentage of the guests weren't even watching. They were just sitting at the tables munching on snacks and chatting with those around him. I bet half of the people were paying attention only to know when the food would come. And it did -- for the next hour.
. . .
We ate and ate and ate. Perhaps the most fun we had was watching the consumption of the raw lobster with wasabi soy sauce. An unsuspecting guest at our table dipped his piece into the huge mound of wasabi and proceeded to take a bite. We, the monkeys, just stared with eyes wide open waiting for the reaction. His face was calm and then his brow furrowed in wonder of why we were so activley staring at him. It took longer than expected but the wasabi hit and we all laughed as he frantically gulped down orange juice and red wine. It was surely a memorable experience.
. . .
More on this later and other stories. Gotta catch my flight to America!!!

And I'm Back...for a day.

I just returned from my 3 week traveling adventure (returning only 2 days late -- trouble at the airports to say the least). So many things to tell but not nearly enough time before my flight tomorrow. Yes, I'm leaving again. This time, going to the great US of A!
. . .
So, here is the introduction -- the beginning of my story of the past month.

This is Christmas...???...Really?!

So, I've had time to collect my thoughts on the whole "Christmas in China" experience...and I still don't have the words to adequately and accurately describe it.
. . .
I actually managed to decorate my apartment and make it look semi-Christmasy. In fact, my apartment still looks like Christmas and will until the 28th of January when I get back from my travels. (Forgot to take it all down before I left.) Anyway, the decorations were...ARE as follows: I spend a whopping 18 kuai ($2.5) on a Charlie Brown Christmas tree -- complete with lights that had 8 different blinking settings! Stockings were difficult to come by. I bought the only 2 in Beibei and were they gaudy! But my Chinese friends (more like sisters) loved them all the same.
. . .
On Christmas Eve, we (the English teachers and some of our friends) had a potluck dinner at my apartment. There was a wide assortment of American and Chinese dishes and no one left hungry. I was in charge of mashed potatoes and somehow managed to pull off fudge too (but it was nothing compared to yours, Grannie!) In addition we had grilled veggies, salad, rolls, duck & chicken (feet and heads included!), ganbien tu dou (Chinese fries), dougan (firm tofu) and spring onions, lotus, and so much more... But it would not be complete without baijiu (thanks Robb). This is the most disgusting alcohol -- the celebratory drink of China. I can't even begin to describe it. The smell alone makes me sick and the taste...death in a bottle at 57% (that's kinda low for Baijiu) -- but the Chinese love it. We kinda see it as a mark of strength if you can take a sip without grimacing. If you've had it, you know what I'm talking about.
. . .
But the main story of our Christmas in China was what happended in downtown Beibei. I had heard stories but never witnessed it. It definitely lived up to its reputation. Here's the account of our adventure. Believe me if you can...
. . .
The 8 of us -- Kyle, Drew, Keegan, Jackie, Tracey, Evan, Evan's girlfriend, and me -- jumped on a surprisingly uncrowded little yellow bus and headed toward the weirdest and most confused Christmas celebration I have ever partaken in. Walking down to the main square, the massive population of China in evident; people fill the walkway and the streets but, unlike in America, I (standing at 5 feet 2 inches) can almost see over the crowd. Street vendors selling inflatable bats and aerosal cans of fake snow (more like soap suds) are a dime a dozen. I convince the guys to go in on a purchase of bats with me. They reluctantly agree.
. . .
The entire square is filled with people beating the crap out of their family and friends while covering each other in the fake snow. As soon as we have our bats in hand, the fighting begins. Being the token foreigners, we are attacked by anyone and everyone. And if you ran, they ran after you. At times all I could do was cover my head with my arms and search for safety (laughing the whole time though). Tracey and I had a epic battle across the entire square and back again -- everyone wondering what in the world we were doing. A classic moment came when Keegan was attacked multiple times by a group of 14 year old girls -- all we did was stand back and laugh as he struggled against the onslaught of bats.
. . .
After a few hours, we were worn out and decided to retire from fighting. Our great Christmas adventure was over but it will never -- it CANNOT be -- forgotten.
. . .
Jackie, Tracey, and I spent Christmas together. Opening present and cooking an amazing breakfast (which half consisted of leftovers). The other teachers came by later and a puzzle was attempted as is tradition in my family. Dinner was the Chongqing classic -- Hot Pot -- which we ate at the base of the mountain in Beibei with our Chinese teacher and her parents. It was a nice conclusion to our Christmas in China -- a mix of East and West.
. . .
Picutres are here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2050565&l=4c202&id=42901658