In the Studio

The vacation recap will continue with the coming blogs, but now a story from this week:
. . .
For the past few months I've had a side job at the recording studio on campus. I come in a few times a week and read for English textbooks -- simple sentences, dialogues, monologues, speeches, stories...whatever they have. Usually I read with another American. Last semester it was Kyle from Alaska; this semester it's Kyle from Minnesota. We usually have a pretty good time -- there's always some good chinglish to keep us laughing.
. . .
W: Andy, I will have an important exam tomorrow. Can you give me some advice? M: Sure. Are you feeling a bit nervous?
W: Yes, I feel stressed.
M: Perhaps you should try this white t-shirt. And white can make you feel calm.
W: OK. What do you think of my blue jeans?
M: It's a good idea to wear blue jeans because blue and white are a good match.
W: Anything else?
M: You'd better take your yellow stationary. You know, yellow represents wisdom.
W: Yes. That's right. Thanks.
. . .
But this week is different. This week Kyle and I work separately and there are no simple sentences, no dialogues, no monologues, no speeches, and no stories. This week we are reading from the dictionary. Just word after word -- each one 3 times over: slow, slower, normal. I've never had to takes so many yawning breaks before. And ya know how people joke about things being "as boring as reading the dictionary"... Well, I disagree. Nothing is that boring.
. . .
And it's even worse at 9:30 a.m. About every 20 minutes we "save file" and that gives me a chance to wake up. During one of the breaks I found a soccer ball in the studio and started kicking it around. I was like a puppy that had been penned up for the whole day. The guy who overseas the recording and makes sure we say the right thing came in and asked me if I could be "a little more excited". You're joking, right? We both laughed. But he was being serious. And so now I have to read the words as if I'm seeing them for the first time.
. . .
"ABILITY"! Oh, and "SCHEDULE"! And "CHARACTER"! What a marvelous thing that one could comprise mere letters and conjure up such entertaining sounds!
. . .
This is my life for 2 hours a day. But it's amazing how we still manage to have a good time. The yawning and my Seattle accent keep us on our toes. Sometimes I am requested to say words in a British accent (ex. schedule) because that is the phonetic spelling given in this dictionary, and we all get a kick out of this. So it's back to the studio tomorrow -- on to the C's, D's, and E's.